He Is Not Just Into You

The guy who says he love you but acts otherwise.
The guy who can tell you you’re not beautiful even if it’s just a joke.
The guy who can keep you waiting and not mind you at all because of his phone.
The guy who doesn’t even try changing his comfort zone for you.
The guy who is just there for you, maybe for comfort, maybe for convenience.
A fact and the truth.
A sad reality that he is not just into you.

ONE LOVE

We can see people fighting.

We can see children suffering.

What are we now?

Monsters who kill each other

Instead of loving one another.

We gotta give one love.

We gotta have one love.

One love for the nation.

And if we have one love,

We can make this world a better place,

Where our children in the future will worry no more.

And everyone will smile at one another.

No war, no hate, and fighting no more.

For the soldiers and civilians who died.

For the families who were left.

What could we do?

But to pray and thank them for their sacrifice.

A hug from afar and a prayer that crosses mountains.

We gotta give one love.

We gotta have one love.

One love for the nation.

And if we have one love,

We can make this world a better place,

Where our children in the future will worry no more.

And everyone will smile at one another.

No war, no hate, and fighting no more.

All of us can be angels.

Let’s spread love and prayers.

For we are one and together let us be one.

Let us sing together as one.

That peace and unity takes over anger and hatred.

We gotta give one love.

We gotta have one love.

One love for the nation.

And if we have one love,

We can make this world a better place,

Where our children in the future will worry no more.

And everyone will smile at one another.

No war, no hate, and fighting no more.

The light of love will guide us to the right path.

The tears now will be replaced by joy.

Let us have faith with one another.

Eventually, it will be a wonderful world.

EMOTIONS

FB POST DATED JUNE 6, 2016

"How beautiful a firefly who flies freely in the dark.
Like a firefly, you should fly proud w/ a sparkling light.
You're like a firefly but w/o a light. 
You wander w/o vision.
You are vulnerable.
You cry unheard.
Like a firefly, you're in the dark, unseen, unheard.
Like a firefly."

What a coincidence that today, I feel the same way. Cried like a river due to uncontrollable circumstances, but still, at the end of all the calculations of my heart and brain, I decided to accept what is and go on with life, bearing in mind, my forever mantra, LIVE, LAUGH, AND LOVE. Or maybe, there's just something about June 6th. :D

I saw a post regarding a woman who committed suicide. We cannot judge her, instead, we should pray for her and be of help to other people who might feel the same way. I wanted to let everyone know that no matter what life challenges we may face, God is always there to ease our pain. No matter what we're going through, our family is always behind our back. And through thick and thin, the one who loves us will always walk with us to protect us.

Depression can be felt and experienced by anyone, regardless of race, religion, sexuality, age, and social status. Hence, it must be addressed and be given importance and attention. We cannot, in any way, judge a person by what we see. Every single person is carrying different burdens that no one would ever know. Thus, let's be sensitive enough and let them feel that they are important in this world and that he/she deserves to live. If you feel like you're alone and nothing is going right, don't be afraid to talk to someone and let it out. Go to church and just kneel and pray. Have a break and be one with nature. There's nothing wrong in sharing your emotions with other people especially if it will help you decrease your heavy feeling.

P.S. Gusto ko talaga even before mag-talk sa youth about anything and everything under the sun, to inspire, and to educate. Kasi I believe that a greatness of a nation starts from within also. Yung ugali, yung perspective mo sa buhay, at kung paano ka umasal sa loob ng pamilya mo at sa ibang tao.

#ONELOVE #POSITIVITY

Nagsulat Ako Kasi Feeling Ko Nababaliw Na Ako

"Let go of what's done, focus on what's next."

"Wala na ako masabi. Basta kapit lang Guys."

"Yeah..lahat nga ng mga nakikita nameng lumalabas grabe parang gusto na mag give up eh.."

"Taxed. Doomed."

"How's your second sunday? Hope everything's well. Fight lang! You're half way there, Atty.!😊"

Some of the messages I've read after the second Sunday exams.

After the morning exam, which is Civil Law, I want to give up already but I convinced myself to continue the fight that I started. Yung tipong nag-aral ka naman pero bakit ganun? Then come taxation in the afternoon. Mas bumaba confidence ko. Nevertheless, inayos ko gamit ko, tried not to cry, lumabas ako ng building, then waited for my friend. Sa una hindi namin alam sasabihin sa isa't-isa. Eventually, we decided to recall our answers. Ang hirap talaga ng Sunday na ito, we concluded.

After dinner, together with the boyfie and his family, we got a massage. Nakaidlip ata ako then naisip ko yung questions and ibang sagot ko sa tax. Nung patapos na ang massage, hindi ko mawari kung panaginip ko ba yun o talagang iniisip ko siya. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, I don't want to be insane because of the bar exams.

I went home and then tried to keep off my mind sa exams. Pero kahit nasa bahay na ang dami pa ring pumapasok sa utak ko. Sabi ko nga parang hindi ko na ma distinguish ang reality sa dreams. And that's a little scary yet funny. Anyway, everyone else is saying na move on and charge again for the next Sunday. So I stopped browsing my tax book and decided to just browse the social media. And then boom, my feed is full of Sunday exam rants and disappointments. I want to rant too pero I don't have too much energy to do that. I am lucky enough to have friends and family who loves pushing me and lifting me up. My friends who took the exam also share the same sentiments regarding the exam. All of us felt down but we decided to stay on the battle, keep the faith, and continue the worthy fight. Pinili namin ito so papanindigan namin for ourselves, for our family and for our friends who fight side by side with us in this.

Two more Sundays and we can finally release ourselves from emotional, physical and financial distress. Taking the bar exams is very taxing and takes a lot of courage. It is an exam that will make you question your intelligence, faith and confidence.  For the past two Sundays, they gave 30 minutes extensions for each subject because the exams were too long. Well, at least, we're thankful for that pero yung iba, at ako rin, na wala ng masabi para pahabain ang sagot, ay nagpasa na lang ng medyo maaga sa oras na itinakda. Wala na rin naman kasing mapipiga. Maybe some won't understand what we're going through but that's okay because you don't want to be in this situation anyway. Some would say encouraging words, some would just roll their eyes and just say it's just like any other exams or maybe na ginusto namin ito.  And that's okay, it don't really matter. We are entitled to our own opinions. Thus, we are entitled with ours too, so don't be a troll. Peace out!

I woke up at 12 noon today and I decided to write in my blog to let my frustrations out. Another day, another chance to everything. And yes, we are keeping the faith.

The Struggle

Minsan akala mo okay na lahat. After mo magpatawad, ginagawa mo lahat para makalimutan yung past niya, yung ginawa niya sa’yo. You keep on trying to convince yourself that he is the guy you’ll end up marrying and you’ll stick with him and fight for your relationship until the end. Then the cycle began. After a mistake, you will talk to each other, you forgive, set limitations, make an agreement then move forward. That’s the way it should be. That’s what couples should do after a fight, right? That no matter what happen, everything will be okay as long as you love each other and you will both fight for your relationship.

Every single day is a struggle after that. You have to convince yourself and put in your mind that he is a changed man now and he will never do anything that will ruin your relationship. Of course, you have to have an assurance from him every now and then that you should feel secure with him and that he’s making everything right. So every time you’ll see a fault from him, you’ll get paranoid that maybe, he’s doing it again. “Doing” does not necessarily mean cheating. That “doing” includes everything that may threaten the relationship. Ika nga,   a real man will cut off any female that may threaten his relationship with his woman. So kapag may mapapansin ka na mali niya or anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, he’ll sometimes get mad. What if he gets burned out or as what they are always saying na “nakakasakal na”. Is it entirely the fault of the girl? I say, of course not. In the very first place, you won’t get paranoid or have trust issues if he didn’t do anything at all. And now he’s blaming you for not controlling your emotions or for not moving on from the past. And oh, that’s the point, he kept saying “the past” when in fact, he just did something days ago. Irony isn’t it? So for them, after making a fault, you have to forgive and then move on. Parang in a snap of a finger, dapat ganun kadali ang lahat.

Who would want a relationship na lagi na lang away? Who would want to be paranoid all the time? No one. We all want peace and happiness in our relationship. How we resolve this kind of issue depends on how we want to end up things. By the way, our action depends on how our partners are treating us. Depende na lang kung martyr ka nang sobra at tanggap ka na lang ng tanggap na ikaw ang may mali ng lahat. Selfless love daw dapat. Pero minsan nakakatanga na rin yan. Ano yun? Lagi ka na lang iiyak at masasaktan pero magsstay ka sa relationship niyo kasi mahal na mahal mo? Ever since, I’ve always believed that love is never enough to make a relationship work.

So there, what we’re doing right now mirrors of what they’ve done to us in the past. It may be resolved already. You may have talked about it and agreed on certain things but that’s not so easy to forget, babe. Kung ang sugat nga kahit naghilom na, may maiiwan pang scar and it will take time before it disappears, ano pa kaya yung emotions ng tao. So pumasok ka sa relationship, ang ganda mo,ang ganda ng perspective mo sa buhay, and you’re full of positivity, you’re a strong woman, then your guy committed a major mistake. Yeah, pinatawad mo, once, twice, thrice. Pero sabi ko nga, hindi madali makalimot so you’ll have trust issues pa rin kahit anong pilit mong maging okay ang lahat. And then, your guy will be irate with the way you’re acting. And now, you’re at your worst. It’s not you anymore. You’ve changed your rules. You’ve broken your principles because of love, because of him. And now that you’re weak and broken because of him, he’ll get mad and somewhat blame you because he said, it’s your own doing and it’s your choice, and worst, he may eventually dump you. Sick irony of life right? –Shi,07/25/16

Love Again

Love Again

04/06/16

I need to lose, to win again.

I need to fall, to rise again.

If someone pulls me down.

I need to aim up and win the fight.

I need to face my fears to love again.

To love with no pain,

And no cloud in between.

I need to lose, to win again.

I need to fall, to rise again.

To trust wholeheartedly,

And love unconditionally.

I need to cast away my fears.

To love again, this time it’s real.

A lifetime too short to live,

So now I gotta give what still remains.

I need to lose, to win again.

I need to fall, to rise again.

Unaccepted

Unaccepted.

Have you ever felt unaccepted by the group of your partner and vice versa?

It's a battle that you can hardly win.

So it is just the two of you against the world.

Cliche may it sounds.

But that's the life of the unaccepted.